“EVERY CHANNEL NOW
ENJOYS HIGHEST VIEWERSHIP“
The game of up-onemanship—yes, you read that right, up-onemanship—between Indian television stations on who is behind them, and at what micro-second of the day, has become a bit of a joke.
Many have caught it, of course, but only GAUTAMA P. has been smart enough to decide to do something about it.
On the newly launched Noise of India (mission statement: “putting the mock back in democracy”), Gautama skewers all, spares none.
The TRP-trippers get preferred treatment:
“Bangalore: Senior scientists at the Indian Institute of Science (IISc), Bangalore, have expressed alarm at the uncontrolled proliferation of TV channels claiming maximum viewership.
Scientists at the IISc are like, WTF. They point out that in any given universe, one and only one TV channel can be the most viewed at standard temperature and pressure.
Malayalee particle physicist Prof. Unnikrishnan has blamed this anomaly on the wave-particle duality of electrons, due to which a single electron can seem to be at two different places at the same time….
Bengali astrophysicists Prof. Bose and Dr. Ghose have ridiculed Prof. Unni’s theory, saying that it begins with an anomaly and ends up with an anomalayalee. Bose and Ghose claim that it is a mistake to think that we live in a single universe with multiple TV channels.
According to them, each TV channel is a full-fledged parallel universe with its own set of laws and award ceremonies. The viewers exist in remote zones from where they use their remotes to switch between the TV universes. Naturally, each TV channel enjoys total viewership within its own universe, just like DD continues to, with Krishi Darshan.
When reached for comment, Unni refuted the Bengali theory, saying that two Bongs don’t make a right.
Visit the site: Noise of India